After what happened to me I knew that I needed and wanted to talk to my regular doctor. When I'm pregnant I see an ob-gyn and for everything else I see Dr. Nelson. She is simply amazing. I have gone to her since I was 17 and she knows me and my whole family. She knows me and genuinely cares about me. I set up a consultation to talk about what to do going forward and knew that it would help me wade through all of my questions.
She walked into the room and hugged me. She just held me and said I'm so so sorry. The words she said were unlike anyone else's; she knew exactly what to say. "This is such a huge loss Katie. I know that nothing can replace this baby. I'm sure you are experiencing so much grief and that's exactly what this is. You lost someone you love" She was simply amazing. I felt like I was talking to my very best friend who dearly loved me. What a wonderful woman.
We talked about what happened and I shared my story with her. She listened so carefully and wanted to hear everything from how we found out we were pregnant to how we found out we lost the baby. She didn't rush me and asked lots of questions.
I then went on to share medical information with her. When I first found out I was pregnant I learned that my thyroid was a little low so I was put on a small dosage of medicine to help with that. She decided to have my thyroid tested again to see where I'm at. I also am just barely into the pre-diabetic category and was gestational diabetic with my son but was diet controlled. With this pregnancy I ate as if I were diabetic already to make sure I didn't have high blood sugar levels. Dr. Nelson decided to also test where I am with this as well. I guess we will see where I'm at in a few days. These are tests she is doing to help me with my next (hopefully!) pregnancy. She doesn't believe that any of these tests have anything to do with my miscarriage, but it's good to do further testing.
"So what about getting pregnant again?" I asked. "How long do we need to wait?" She said that normally doctors suggest a cycle or two so women know that they have started ovulating again and also for them to have time to grieve, but she said because of my history and because I know my body so well we didn't have to wait. I have PCOS (Polycystic ovarian syndrome) which causes me to have long cycles and can make it more challenging to get pregnant. Because of that, I take my temperature every morning when we are trying to get pregnant to track my cycles. So far we have been successful quickly both times, but there is always the chance that this could not be the case. I asked her what about my body though, do I need to heal. She responded by saying that I was fine and nothing in my body should stop us from trying if we wanted to.
I thought this was great news until I met with the surgeon a few days later for a follow up. He said that if I were to become pregnant in the next two cycles I would have a 40% chance of losing the baby instead of the usual 20%. Ugh. Which doctor would you trust and follow? The doctor you love, trust and who knows you best or the doctor who works with just pregnant women?
I know it's just a couple of months but I feel like I'm losing time. Like we already lost more than three months with this baby and now we have to wait at least two more (more like three or four with my cycles) and then there is no guarantee we will get pregnant again right away. And while I know that no other baby will replace this one, I still so desperately wish I were pregnant right now. It's hard not to wish away time to when I am pregnant again. It's hard to be patient when you are waiting for your precious baby to be in your arms.
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